My Favorite Mistake
by JanieWrites
Summary: I'm ashamed for giving up my adoration for the boy, which is so brilliant and amazing in its strength, for an insignificant and pigheaded girl such as Isabella Swan. Jakeward.  Sequel to While I Was Holding On.
1. Chapter 1

I hadn't realized what I had done was so terrible. I didn't realize it could cause such harm. Sending Jacob away had been hard and the severe mental storm of pain that had accompanied his departure had nearly ripped me apart. Being deprived of something as precious and magnificent as him was like the sun had suddenly deteriorated.

I did it because I couldn't handle seeing him cry anymore. I didn't want to hurt him more than I already had. I thought maybe if he stayed away from me, he would forget. I was horribly wrong.

I'm extremely ashamed and embarrassed with myself for throwing away a love as great as mine and Jacob's. I have given up my adoration for the boy, which is so brilliant and amazing in its strength, for an insignificant and pigheaded girl such as Isabella Swan.

When I had forced him away from me, I knew we were both in for a great deal of heartache, but I had not known it would be so horrible. I hadn't realized I was murdering him.

Neither Bella, nor I, had known Jacob had gone missing until two days after I had ended our love affair. We had been in sitting with Alice in the living area of my home, patiently sitting through one of Emmett's football games when the distinct scent of the Quileute Pack swept through the air.

Alice looked at me, confused and slightly worried, she cares for Jacob too. Emmett looks up from his game and stares at the door, hoping the smell was of his new friend coming back home, but I knew better. It was the other wolves.

Without a word, I walk out the front door and onto the lawn, Alice and Emmett following close behind. The whole pack is there, omitting that one wolf; _my wolf._ Their thoughts are a jumble of anger and misery and rage. All them ring out like a cry for help.

_Where's Jake?_

_Why can't I hear him anymore?_

_Where has he gone?_

_I just want him to come back home._

_Why…_

They are just as distressed as I. I didn't understand at first. Why were they so worried? I didn't repel Jacob from his home as well as mine. Had I?

The alpha went behind a large tree, phased, and then came back. He looked furious. His face was flushed bright red under his russet skin and his nostrils were flared, but I could see extreme anxiety behind his eyes.

Now he standing only a couple feet, staring me down. Levelly wondering if he should be civil of tear me apart.

"What've you done, Cullen?" He voice is shaky and agitated. His stance accusing, and now that I think about, I deserve every shot they had ever took at me.

"I told him to leave me." My speech is clipped and low.

"I'm aware of that." His patience flew out the window before he arrived and he has no time for idle conversation. "He left. We don't know where he's gone… We can't even hear his thoughts anymore… You've broken him." His voice is feral and deathly quiet. Barely hanging onto his last bit of civility.

I can almost feel my eyes blacken and my dead heart gives a painful lurch. _What have I done?_

"You need to fix this, leech." I look up and realize another one had phased back. "He could be out somewhere hurt, or dead, and it's all your fault."

I nod and my feet are moving before I have time to think about it. I'm running into the house and searching for my keys, frantically grappling through my room until I find them, then racing down the stairs when Bella steps in my space and stops me on my way to the door.

"Edward, what are you doing?" Her voice grinds against my nerves and she arches that insufferable eyebrow. "Where are you going?"

I don't waste time and I don't feel like elaborating. "Bella, our relationship isn't working out. I think we need to see other people."

And I'm gone just like that. Running to my _true _love. Knowing that he is vulnerable and alone, but hoping he is unharmed and that I will not be too late.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm breaking it here to ask the readers how they would like it to end. Happy or sad? Should Edward save Jacob or should he be too late. <strong>

**Comment and tell me how you would like this to end.**


	2. Chapter 2

His scent is stronger in some places than others. He's run in circles, I can tell, the trails lead me to the same place each time I follow them. I can see him there in my mind, scurrying about, anxious and worried. He was lost. He knew he had to get away, but he didn't know where to go.

I can feel his panic lingering in the air. It must have been days since he has passed through here, but his distress has been petrified into the soil.

I can smell his scent. The plants and the trees are saturated with it. He had ambled here for a while before moving onto his next location, _wherever that may be._

I can smell his tears. Human tears, not his _wolf's; _they are spotted here and there along the ground. Telling a story of a lost and terrified boy who had gotten his heartbroken by the one he loved the most.

He had walked here, in this desolate, barren forest, for hours on end, not knowing where to go and not knowing how to survive without his imprint.

Knowing that it is my fault Jacob has gone through all this turmoil is a worse burden than murder. How I could summon enough hatefulness to taint something as lovely as him is sinful in its own way. I might have very well killed him. He could be laying out here somewhere cold and dead.

I hasten my pace and leave the barrier of scent that was left in that spherical trail and venture further. I must be in Canada by now. I left familiar territory dozens of miles ago. The large evergreens cast shadows in between the small streaks of moonlight that shines against the forest floor.

I run until soggy earth turns to snowy hills. Hills into mountains. And I still can't smell or hear anything but the fresh air and the soft whispers of the woods. Desperation blazes like fire through my dead veins.

I weave in and out of foliage. Up and down mounds upon mounds of snow and fallen, dead trees. After a couple of hours I start to give up and my legs start to slow their pace, but the wind suddenly blows _just so _and it's _there_. My legs move before I have time to think about it and I'm moving toward the scent that is so sweet with familiarity, but so bitter with its weakness.

It gets stronger as I get closer and I can almost taste him in the breeze as I pump my legs faster and faster and faster… and I'm there.

I almost let out an audible groan at the sight.

His skin is white, totally rid of color. It is almost as pale as the snow his naked body is laying on. The feathery flakes of falling snow sweep across his bare skin as he lies motionless on the ground.

I go to him and kneel at his side. He is ice cold; his skin no longer harbors the scorching life I remember. I panic for a moment rolling him onto his back and, thank God, his chest is moving, shallowly, up and down.

His body is so much smaller than the last time I saw him, its evident he hasn't been eating. His face is sallow and his eyelids are yellowish. The air he breaths wheezes painfully in and out, trying to cater to his fragile hearts needs.

I look at him and I feel _scared_. It was impossible to survive such a condition, but I would have to try. I would have to fight for him.

I scoop him up into my arms and cradle him into my chest. He is so petite and dainty in my embrace that I'm almost afraid to move him at first. When I start to run I take extra care to be as fluid and graceful in my movements.

I rush him to safety. To a warm place where he can be healed. I will save him.

I will be his hero.

If his body has the ability to hold on long enough for me to prove myself.


End file.
